By the Numbers

I was just talking to someone today about the importance of holding ourselves accountable, and that to make any changes, we have to know what we’re currently doing. As those words escaped my lips, I thought, “Hmmm….” I need to hold up a mirror if I want to move forward.

So here goes.

  • 35: Years under my belt 
  • 265: Pounds (I think?)
  • 61.5: Inches tall 
  • 11: Ring size
  • 2: Chins
  • 135: Lowest healthy weight (age 16)
  • 40: Pounds lost in 2008-2009
  • 75: Pounds gained since 2009
  • 160/102: Highest BP (summer 2015)
  • 300: Highest cholesterol (spring 2015)
  • 40+: Number of consecutive laps I could swim during high school swim team practice
  • 5: Number of minutes I can walk now before getting a backache
  • 832: How many times a day I tell myself I need to lose weight
  • 832: How many times a day I tell myself to stop harping on myself for being overweight

It’s Time.

It’s time.

It’s time to get well. It’s time to be well.

It’s time to stop fooling myself and to look in the mirror. Really look in the mirror. Not the pretty mirror that we angle up against the wall so our physiques appear to be longer and leaner (guilty!), but the utilitarian, metal, 10-times-magnified mirror in department stores where you can see each pore in high definition.

This wellness journey will serve as my emotional magnifying mirror, and this blog will capture it. Writing has always helped me see my successes and my trip-ups. Journaling holds me accountable and shows me how far I’ve come and also how much more growth I am capable of.

It’s no surprise that after not journaling for many years, my sense of self has drifted away. I have many blessings in my life, so much to be grateful for, and yet I am still struggling.

This blog is primarily for me, but maybe it will help others, too. Maybe we can help each other see that we are not alone. We each have to walk our own path, but perhaps it’ll help us keep taking steps forward knowing that others are also walking in the forest. Perhaps the ambient glow from others’ lanterns will help illuminate our own trails…